Do You Ever...

Do you ever just stare at your kids and wonder how they got so big, where the time went, and hope you are doing a good job with them.  I do this a lot.  Right now I am doing this with Diesel and Lexi.  Diesel, I love him to pieces he is such a funny kid, but yet I look at him and cannot believe he is no longer a baby, yes he will always be my "baby", but he is growing up too fast.  He still gives me loves and he will lay by me in the mornings when he wakes me up at 6:00 and just rub my arm or my face so gently.  I'll look at him and he will tilt his head to the side and give me this goofy grin that I love.  I wonder how long he will do this...how long until life is crazy busy for him and I will hardly see him and wonder where the time went.  With Lexi I just cannot believe how much older she got within the last year.  She's in fifth grade now and I remember 5th grade so clearly I had my first boyfriend in the fifth grade (we even held hands at the skating rink during the couples only skate).  I cared how I looked and would actually try to make my crazy hair look good.  I see this starting in her she has always been a fashion diva, but now her hair is important to her too.  Thank goodness she is not boy crazy yet and will not be until she's at least 20.  She is actually one of my heroes.  I love how when she puts her mind to something it happens.  She tries endlessly to please me in all she does I love that about her too of course.  She is so helpful and obeys quickly.  She is quick to recognize when she is wrong or out of line and apologizes.  She is fun and has such a crazy laugh.  I stare at her every once in a while and she is always like what?  I should tell her what I am thinking is how amazing I think she is.